


Failed archeologists shouldn't complain

by orphan_account



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Noodle Incidents, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tumblr Prompt, What Have I Done, Work In Progress, archeology, archeology au, arthur is happy, douglas gives no fucks, in over their heads, martin crieff is having a bad day, martin is stressed out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 19:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1439497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Martin wants is to work with a museum and get to dig in Egypt or somewhere exotic. Instead he is stuck working for a Contract Archeology company with an Ex-looter and the owners son. How could this possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Failed archeologists shouldn't complain

Martin Crieff wondered where he had gone wrong in life as he heaved another sieve into the truck . Panting as he loaded the last one into the van he collapsed onto the tailgate. “All set Caroline!” he called over to the pickup truck puttering next to him. “Took you long enough” came the reply as the severe older woman came around the cab “Go fetch Douglas than will you? Heaven knows what he’s doing” she said with a sniff. “tell him we leave in five minutes with or without him”. Grabbing a pile of forms off the end of the tailgate she stalked off flipping through them. Martin left hastily. He didn’t want to be there when she read the F1 notes for day two of their last job:

13:30“Chief ordered Douglas to get alcohol (for the mold not for him)

14:14 “Douglas comes back with alcohol for both.”

14:30“site on fire”

In Martin’s defense the text book had said rubbing alcohol was good for getting rid of mold on equipment etc. Perhaps he should have remembered Douglas’s unfortunate habit of smoking when stressed. He heard a shriek from behind him and walked faster. “Douglas!” he called as he trudged down the side of the warehouse “we are leaving soon Caroline says she’s leaving you if you’re late!” “Well tell her I’ll be there as soon as she stops wishing to kill me barehanded” came the drawled reply from on of the far shelving units. Martin walked over tentatively. His normal response to Douglas doing questionable things with the artifacts was ignoring it as best he could . With a slam and some clanging Douglas came around the corner as Martin finally decided to brave finding out what he was doing. “She isn’t going to ever not want to murder you Douglas” he said wearily “And what on earth were you doing?” he added trying to look behind him. Douglas, however, blocked him “Nothing really!” he said quickly shifting “Just checking the condition of the artifacts” he said smoothly as he tugged Martin along with him back outside. Martin sighed inwardly hoping that Douglas hadn’t been doing anything too illegal. Rounding the corner they ran smack into Arthur, Caroline’s perpetually cheery son. “Hey Chief!” Arthur said happily as he picked up the papers and pens that gone flying upon impact. “Hey Douglas!” Martin and Douglas simply trudged on far too used to the daily event of Arthur tripping/falling/breaking things to even bother checking on him “DOUGLAS RICHARDSON” “Good luck Douglas” Martin said quickly as he diverted to the pickup truck to ‘recheck’ the supplies. Arthur trailed after him “Mom must have found out about the whole site on fire incident?” “Quite” Martin replied shortly as he checked his pockets for his regulation compass and map pen. Arthur sat on the fender “Mom keeps saying she should hire Herc to straighten Douglas out.” “Talking about Herc the berk?” Douglas asked as he rounded the corner “Douglas…” Martin chided wearily “Caroline will really kill you if she hears you calling him that” Arthur chimed in “And she’d probably have Martin and I hide the body too” after a second of thought he added “Where would we hide it Martin?” Martin looked up from his paperwork “I don’t know maybe we’d just accidentally rebury him at a site when we back fill?” Caroline humphed from behind them “If you are all through discussing your imminent demise then it is time to get moving. NO accidents this time Martin!” “Yes Caroline” Martin said huffing as he carefully put the papers back in the file. “See you in a week I suppose?” “Sooner if you can possibly manage it. We aren’t made of money here!” Caroline said snappishly as she sent Douglas an extra glare “Remember to take pictures regularly this time too! We aren’t being paid to simply say ‘sorry you can’t build a condo here there are dead people’ you need pictures!” “Of course Caroline. I shall most definitely make sure to take pictures of as you say the ‘dead people’” Said Douglas smoothly as he got into the drivers seat of the opposite car. “Arthur try not lose the log book this time” Caroline said fondly as she watched him load his bag. “Don’t worry mum it was a one off.” Arthur cheerfully said as he climbed in the passenger seat. Caroline nodded and headed inside

 

F1 Notes for Site: 204Er6

23/07/12

7:30: D.R. takes F1 notes

7:35: D.R. watches A.S. drop a hanging sieve on his foot

7:40 D.R Watches M.C. get tangled in the rest of the sieve

8:00 D.R. Updates Photo log with picture of incident for C.S.

_8:20 M.C. takes over notes due to D.R. not being competent_

_8:35: Start breaking ground_

_8:55: hit datum 1 at 5cm_

_9:15: Test pit begun_

_9:45: Datum 3 hit definit soil change_

_10:00 A.S finds bone shard in sieve_

_10:15. D.R. finds a tooth_

_10:45: Caroline they won’t be able to put a condo here_

_11:15: DR updates photolog with pictures of remains_

_11:45: fight breaks out over proper protecal moving forward_

_12:00 A.S. attempts to break up argument with suggestion of lunch and accidently steps on remains_

_12:15: A.S. is now cursed_

_12:45 site organized and photographed with north arrow missing because DR lost it_

_13:00 Lunch_

_13:40: M.C. makes an executive choice to dig another 5 test pits_

_14:30 A.S. refuses to join DR in mutiny due to concerns about CS’s wrath_

_15:00 2 test pits completed remains found in 1_

_15:30: Never mind we found some dead baby bones_

_15:45 A.S starts crying because ‘dead babies’_

_16:00 D.R. starts drinking_

16:30: M.C. decides we are done for the day

16:35: M.C. refuses to drink because he is boring

24/07/12

_7:30 D.R. goes for coffee_

_7:40 M.C. begins bagging artifacts_

_7:55 M.C. realizes artifact tags are all wrong_

_8:15 M.C. rebags artifacts_

_8:45 M.C. wonders if DR is dead_

_9:oo DR is not dead_

_9:30: DR points out that the local tea shop knew that there was a graveyard here and that it supposedly was for plague victims_

_9:45: A.S. questioned about how exactly he had researched the area and is informed that he had gone to the library and talked to the pretty librarian (who was new) and was told that a new condo in the area would be great._

_10:00 Caroline this is ridiculous what are we supposed to do now? They didn’t cover this in school._

_10:15 M.C. has existential crisis_

_10:30 A.S. suggests we go find M.C. and is reassured that M.C, will be fine_

_11:00 Maybe M.C. is dead_

_12:00 M.C. was not dead just lost_

_12:30 I quit_

**13:00 A.S takes over notes while D.R. trys to calm M.C. down**

**13:15: Mc. Is persuaded to help finish the job**

**13:45 M.C. and D.R. start test pit three**

**16:00 M.C, is upset because “ Douglas why haven’t you been updating the photo log HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO WRITE THE REPORT?!”**

**17:30 Site closed for evening and covered up. Goodnight dead people**

26/07/12

_7:30 : I don’t quit_

_7:55 Open site back up_

_8:15 Find north arrow in A.S’s tool box_

_8:45: Site tidied and pictures taken with North arrow_

_9:15 Test pit 3 finished no bones_

_9:45: Test pit 4 started_

_10:00 Bones_

_10:15: Artifacts bagged and tagged_

_10:45 A.S. informs M.C. that this is the best job ever! M.C. is skeptical_

_11:00 A.S. stabs himself accidentally with a bone shard while sieving_

_11:15 debate begins about whether A.S. will catch Plague as a result_

_11:20 D.R. is elected to call Caroline on break to update her_

_11:30 M.C. takes photos_

_11:50: Photo log updated with extra picture of D.R. looking pained while C.S. yells at him for the memories_

_12:00 Lunch_

_12:30 A.S. questions whether maybe we could just ‘move all the dead people’ and is informed we would need quite a bit more than 3 people to do all that_

_12:35 Caroline please hire Herc_

12:38 Caroline if you hire Herc the Berk I quit

**12:45 I like Herc he is nicer than you know dad**

_13:00 Tolberone incident rehashed again_

13:00 God that was an awful job Russia was cold

13:15 M.C. D.R. & A.S get back to work

14:00 Datum hit and levels updated

14:20 M.C. is informed that DR has only been updating every 30 cm

14:25 WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT DOUGLAS

14:30 Douglas is a berk you need to hire Herc

15:00 D.R. finishes test pit 4

15:15M.C. starts test pit 5

16:00 site closed for day

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted by the wonderful Caddiewhite on tumblr who is a fellow student in archeology. Its pretty much a mash up of some of the archeology fails we have encountered. i will probably write more for this. Martin losing his shit is just too good to not write. i couldn't get the formatting quite right but hey....thats life


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